Its not mental right now

It is actually my physical health that is bothering me right now. I went back to work before Christmas having been signed off with a particularly bad bout of anxiety. I was back four days before I caught covid. I wasn’t as bad as I could have been with it (thank you thank you thank you vaccinations) but I was in bed for five days. I went back to work before I should have and was subsequently sent home. I am still quite a fair way from feeling myself. I get tired easily. I am still coughing. I am physically weak and I am always cold.

I am lucky in a way that work is closed now for a refurb. I am getting a little better each day but also a little more frustrated. I am definitely not a patient patient. I try to be philosophical about it. I can take this time to heal and keep working on my mental health. At the same time I worry a lot about it. It is almost paradoxical. Ill and off work so have time to work on myself. Ill and off work so going into a worry spiral which makes it hard to have the energy to work on myself.

I am rather tired now just from typing at my desk. What fun.

I am used to my brain letting me down. Anxiety most of your adult life will do that. But come on body, I expect better from you!

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